Five Things To Do In Record Temperatures
We broke a record on Friday with a high temperature of 95. It doesn’t look like it’s going to get any cooler either. So I’ve come up with an unconventional list of things to do to help you make it through the hot weekend.
1. Finally agree to go to that movie that your wife has been wanting you to go and see. Sure, it’s a cheesy chick flick but don’t forget, theaters are normally air conditioned and they have ice cold pop in cups the size of your swimming pool.
2. Find someone on the street that has a refreshing drink and say something vulgar to them. If you’re lucky, they’ll toss that drink in your face for a quick refreshing pick me up. Normally, “Hot enough for you?” will do the job.
3. Keep a freezer stocked full of your own underwear. Hear me out…if you keep those parts of you cold, your body will stay cold too. You might end up changing a lot so keep a lot of them ready to go.
4. Get drunk and forget that it’s hot out at all. Just don’t drive anywhere.
5. Actually try to fry an egg on the sidewalk. It won’t keep you cool but at least you can say you did it. Plus, you get breakfast!