My Toughest Thousand Days

People told me it gets better, but I'm not so sure that's the right way to put it because it doesn't ever really get better.  Instead, you learn to cope with it.  You have to.  There is no other choice.

Today marks three years since my wife, Shelley, passed away.  That's more than a thousand days and there's not a day that I don't think about her.  And there's so much I miss about her.

I miss her intelligence.  I loved bouncing things off of her to get her opinion on almost anything because she always looked at all the sides to an issue.

I miss her thoughtfulness.  She always put others before herself even in something as simple as grocery shopping.  She always would think to herself "what would Dale like?"

I miss her competiveness.  We'd spend weekend evenings playing cards, just the two of us, for nickels and dimes.  If you came out ahead by 75 cents or a dollar at the end of the night you did well.  If I came out on top one night she'd usually win the next night.

I miss her sense of humor.  And when you consider that she actually laughed at my jokes it was a terrific sense of humor.

And boy, do I miss her cooking.  Name it, she could make it.  Her meals were masterpieces.   Spaghetti, lasagna, chop suey, pork chops, soup, cabbage rolls and something as simple as a hamburger...nobody made them better.

We met when we were teenagers while working in a restaurant.  She didn't like me and I didn't like her.  But we worked together so often we learned we really did have a lot in common.  Eventually we became friends, then best friends and that's what our marriage was all about - a close friendship based on respect and honor that grew into a deep love.

If one thing has become better it's that the tears have been replaced with smiles every time I think of all the things we did together.  The concerts, the vacations and all the other experiences we had.  There were times we didn't even have to say anything because each of us knew what the other was thinking.

I have to confess I envy couples who are able to celebrate their 40th, 50th and 60th wedding anniversaries and sometimes more.  Shelley and I came just short of our 30th, but I'll always consider myself lucky to have had her for as long as I did.  All of us should consider ourselves lucky to have known her.  She really was somebody special.