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Please Don’t Hand These Out On Halloween

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With Halloween on Monday, I figured to give out a warning to those inexperienced Halloween candy buyers.  This also goes out to the few homes that feel heath food is the way to go.  Here are the 10 Worst Halloween Handouts.  These are in no particular order! 

1. Mallo Cups–  The wannabe Reese’s PB cup, except it’s filled with old, extra chewy rubber marshmallow.  I know a lot of you think these are good….including Dale Mussen…..but there are far better candies out there.

2. Bit-O-Honey– Should be called Spit-Out-Honey.  These things are also nasty.  Buy these if you really don’t like the neighborhood children.

3.Smarties and Necco Wafers– These nasty candies taste like dust…chalk.  They are barely fruit flavored either

4. Spare Change– Nobody wants your pocket lint or your 46 cents.  You might as well just shut your front porch light off and go to bed.

5. Dum Dum Lillipops- The half-a-sucker.  Hey thanks for the microscopic piece of nothing on a stick.  This candy should be given in handfuls just to make up for how cheap and aweful it is.

6. Circus Peanuts- Those orange colored nasty marshmallow peanut things.  read that again and tell me you want to put that excuse for a tasty treat in your mouth.

7. Miscellaneous , Wrapped Candies– Chances are these came out of the senior citizen’s candy dish.  They’ve also been sitting there since Halloween of 1978.  You can taste the expiration date when you suck on these strawberry gel-goop things

8. Peppermint Candies- First off…they stink.  Second off….Its not X-mas

9. Gum- Really?  You’re gonna give me gum.

10. Apples/Raisins– This must be the “trick” in trick-or-treat.  If you are a health nut, you eat it.  These kids coming to your door probably aren’t.  I don’t know if the fruit is cheaper than candy, but save it for yourself.


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