(Brad Killer/Thinkstock)

You've been filling out your Christmas lists and you can just never quite find the perfect gift for your dad.  Sometimes the best gifts cannot be purchased.  Here's my list of the top ten things I want for Christmas this year that can't be purchased.  I have to believe most dads would agree with most of them:

1.  For someone to put my tools away where they belong so that I can find them when I need them.  I don't care if you didn't use them.

2.  A conveyor belt for the trash to take itself out to the street.  That would just be cool to see - plus I'm lazy on Wednesdays.

3.  Christmas lights that actually work like they're supposed to.  Those things are bull____ and I'm tired of messing with them.

4.  For people to stop being such trolls on the internet.  Nobody believes that you're as tough as you try to pretend to be with a monitor and keyboard in front of you.  Say something nice.

5.  Kids that look more like windows and less like doors so I can see the damned TV (at least when the game is on).  Sorry dad...I get it now.  Sorry I did this to you.

6.  Someone to tell me what my wife actually wants.  Like all the time.  Not just for Christmas.  Guys need a translator.

7.  For my kids to stop bickering.  When I say, "Do I have to come up there?" it doesn't mean I want to come up there.  Actually, I don't want to have to come up there.  I hate stairs.  KNOCK IT OFF!

8.  Earplugs.  I know these can be purchased but I can think of many instances where these would come in handy.  Use your imagination.

9.  For football season to last all year long and for my team to actually be the most feared team in the league (for a change)

10.  Sleep.  Seriously.  I just want to be able to sleep like I used to in college.  Like...I want to wake up and not know if it's A.M. or P.M. and then not care anyway.


What do you think dads?  Did I hit on some of your wants too?

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