My Thoughts On Birthdays And Turning 34

It is hard to believe that I am turning 34 this year. It seems that every year someone asks you "feel any older?" I don't really.What I do notice from year to year is that I am looking back more on the previous years. I find that Iam questioning things a little more. Did I make the right decisions?Have I lived up to certain expectations? Am I making my mother and father proud?This year is going to be a little different for me.

It is going to be my first birthday without at least one parent to celebrate it with. My mother has been gone for almost 15 years and my father for nearly 7 months. Some of my favorite memories of birthdays are those spent with my family.

Same Birthday, Different Cake

When my twin sister Elizabeth and I were growing up, my parents made certain that even though we may have been born on the same date, we were separate people and deserved to have a special day for each. My mother baked 2 cakes, we sang happy birthday twice etc. We even brought a different treat to pass out to our classmates (back when schools allowed that sorta thing). Looking back having a twin sister (older by 5 minutes) to celebrate birthdays with was and is something special.

Turning 21

When we turned 21, my father took us to dinner. Just the 3 of us went to what used be The Little White House on Main St. I remember wishing that my mother could have been there to see that one. We each got our own mini champagne bottle and I remember how proud my dad was of us. It was a special night. It wasn't like those crazy 21st birthday's that you hear about. It was classy and one of the best memories of my life!

What Getting Older Feels Like To Me

I don't "feel" older. I don't wake up with pains or ahces. I don't have failing eyesight or anything like that. I have some gray hairs here and there and actually kind of like that look.In my mind, getting older is sort of a report card coming home. It is a time to look back and see what you have done so far. In the last year, few months or even in your life. It means you have a chance to take a glance back and reflect on things you have done and learn from them. I think back to where I was 10 years ago. Heck, if I look back even just a year ago, so many things have changed and I have learned so much. I honestly thought that getting older would feel like something physical. I guess that will eventually happen. This year with my father passing, I have learned the most about life. I have learned to not take things/people for granted. I have learned what it means when you answer "nothing" to the question "what do you want for your birthday?" It means just that. I don't want anything. I really don't need anything. You reach a certain point in life when you don't want people to go out of their way for you. You just want to absorb life day by day. I am not saying that you should take birthdays for granted. Just the contrary.Birthdays should be circled on your calendar as a day a person uses to add up the pluses and minuses from the past year. If you try to make the plus column outweigh the minus, that is the best gift any of us on earth can get for adding another number to our age!