What Makes a Real Cowboy?

I was out this weekend making my usual rounds around the many events in Western New York, and I happened to have my cowboy hat on at one stop. As anyone who wears a cowboy hat in WNY will tell you, sooner or later, someone is going to comment or ask the question "Are you a real cowboy?"That question makes me stand back and wonder what the person means by that. If they're asking if I live my life riding horses and chasing cows, the answer is no. Truth is, I can barely ride a horse, and the only cows I have to deal with are when I am on my buddies' farms, drinking beer and watching them do chores.

Still, when someone asks "Are you a real cowboy?" my answer may in fact be yes. Did I cry my eyes out when my mother died? Yes, and I still do, as many as three 0r four times a week. I cried even harder when Dad died. I believe that a person can't have enough respect or adoration for the people that fell in love and brought them into this world. My parents worked hard to give me and my sisters and brothers the best, even if it meant they would suffer or go with out.

Do I love my dog? The answer is heck yes! I am a firm believer that every man needs a great dog as a friend. My dog Pepper is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. She is loyal, protective and willing to work in the field/woods for me 'til she is about to fall over.

Do I work hard for what I have? I all but filed for bankruptcy after my divorce and truthfully have never gotten out of that "pit." But I'd rather be there than borrow money from family or friends to get out of my troubles, even though I have the best friends and family a guy could ever dream of having. Like any "real cowboy" will tell you -- and to quote the late Chris Ledoux -- you have to "hold tight when the bull starts to twist." If I get myself in a bind of any kind, it's on me to get myself out.

The image of the cowboy on the big screen is full of romance and heartbreak with women. If that is your idea of what a "real cowboy" is, then I guess I might fit into that category just fine. I have to admit that I have had some amazing opportunities come my way, and whether it was just bad timing, immaturity or plain stupidity and pride, I have broken a few hearts. I have also had some women use my heart like a floor mat.

If you're wondering if I'm a "real cowboy," the answer is no if you're asking if I brag about riding bulls or roping calves or having the biggest truck in town.I don't think you would ever hear Ty Murray do that, and I am almost positive you have never heard George Strait tout having 59 no. 1 hits.

But, if you're asking if I'm there for my friends when they need me? You can bet your best boots I am. I would give anything that any friend or family needed anytime day or night. I believe that it truly is not what we get but what and when we give that counts. It may not always be money -- it may be time, an extra hand, a pickup truck to haul something or just an ear.

If by "real cowboy" you're asking if I love my country -- well, who wouldn't love this place? I don't agree with the current policies or even the way it is run sometimes, but I think that is what makes it great. We all have a right to think what we want and feel what we want, and we have the right to vote. You will never hear a real cowboy complain about something without trying to work to change what he thinks is wrong. A real cowboy will recognize a problem and work as hard as possible and use whatever means he has to make it right. Even if that means just casting a vote.

The question "Are you a real cowboy?" could be posed to anyone really, whether he's wearing a cowboy hat, flip flops or a suit. What makes a real cowboy a real cowboy isn't what he is wearing, where he works or if he has the world's largest herd of cows. It's what inside that counts. It's the action a person takes when stuff hits the fan. It's the pride in this country and in himself to get out of a tough situation on his own. It's the selflessness inside to comfort, rescue or aid a friend or family member -- or even a stranger -- in need at a moment's notice. It's the ability to look rough on the outside and be tender on the inside, or to be tender on the outside and a strong force on the inside.

John Wayne's character on screen is arguably one of the toughest, hardest working and most romantic cowboys of all time. Based on my drawn-out definition above and what I know about him through his movies, I think he'd agree that there is a little bit of a "real cowboy" in every hard-working, God-fearing, family- and friend-loving American. Hat or no hat.