When Did It Become Inappropriate To Call Someone Ma’am?

I like to think that I was raised to be polite.  I say please and thank you and yes sir and ma'am.  But not everyone appreciates it.

It's happened a couple times over the last couple years where someone will ask me something and I'll respond with "yes ma'am."

What normally follows is a dirty look and a woman whom I just offended saying, "MA'AM?!?  I'm not a MA'AM!!"

I'm sorry...I was just trying to be polite.  Actually, I wasn't even trying.  It's been ingrained in my brain that when you're addressing a lady you call her ma'am.

When did that become offensive?

Now, I understand that assuming gender in 2019 isn't something that you should do.  That isn't the intention.  Responding to someone with "yes human" or "yes person" seems a little bit strange.

I'm assuming it's because people think that being called "ma'am" makes them feel old.  Of course that's never how I mean it either.

I was also raised to determine whether something is offensive or not by the intent.  Did someone call you a name with the intention of making you feel demeaned?  Did someone want to make you feel less by calling you that?  I assure you, in my case, that's never what is happening.

Is there something better that people should be using to address a lady?

How long are we going to be yelling at people for trying to be polite?  Ever been yelled at for helping to hold the door?  It feels the same.  I know that you can hold your own door.  I'm doing this to be nice!  I know you're not old.

Speaking for many guys out there, I know there's a lot of work to do...but we are trying.  Give us a break.

I'm just trying to be nice to you.  Stop making it so hard!  LOL...