How Not to Grill Food — 8 Hilarious Barbecue Fails
As Labor Day Weekend opens the gate to summer, we all begin to plan our outdoor activities. Most of us will find a reason to get outside for the long weekend and enjoy food, friends, family and some delicious beverages. And really, it wouldn’t be a summer holiday without some grilling (and it's still summer. We are not letting go yet!).
Having cookouts is one of the best things about summer holiday weekends. Who doesn’t like to light some coals and throw a shrimp on the barbie? A bratwurst isn’t a bratwurst if it’s cooked in an oven. The steak you made yourself is the most delicious steak in the world. And eating outside is as good as it gets.
Picnics and cookouts are a staple of American living. Of course, you would think it would be easy to cook food with fire and eat it outside. (After all, pre-historic humans cooked food with fire and ate outside.) What’s interesting is that even though we’ve evolved, it seems that we are far less capable of using fire to prepare our meals. And eating outside can be a frightening thing. We found some videos that prove the cavemen may have done it better.
Note: Since some of these videos feature explosive fire, some NSFW language is involved.
We Heat Up the Coals and the Yard
Grilling requires a good bed of hot coals. You want those little guys really toasty so you can put your choice cuts of meat on the grill and slow cook them to perfection. Of course, hot coals start with fire. And every grilling moron in the country knows that you can’t have fire without a big bottle of lighter fluid. Just make sure to confine the fire to the coals.
We Flame Broil Those Chops
The best thing about a grilled dish is the rich, juicy flavor brought out by the slow cooking. That, and it feels like being a caveman and getting back to your roots. The key to slow cooking and a great barbecue is patience. The key to serving pork hockey pucks to your friends and family is a big, giant fire.
We Go Mobile With Our Barbecue
Mobilizing your barbecue seems like a great way to hook up with all your friends on Memorial Day. Sometimes you have to get to more than one cookout in order to see everyone and get the real partying done. Of course, it’s better if you just grill the meat and then bring it with you, rather than do it as you go. Clearly.
We May Need to Leave It to the Men
Most men will tell you that women should not be barbecuing. They’ll grunt and say adamantly that it’s men’s work. Most of the time this seems wrong and kind of sexist. Not this time, but most of the time.
We Do Some Awesome Tricks
Your barbecue can be good for more than just preparing your Memorial Day feast. Barbecues are also handy for doing tricks in order to one-up your friends. Of course, it doesn’t count if the barbecue is the only one good at the trick. You both have to be able to do it or there’s a price to pay.
We Should Watch for Traffic
The best barbecues always revolve around selecting the best guests. Location and food selection are always important, but you’ll only really have a great time depending on who is there. Something to keep in mind is that inviting vehicles that do not have drivers will not lead to a good cookout.
We Have to Watch For the Enemy’s Fire
We celebrate our soldiers on Memorial Day with family gatherings and cookouts in the park. It only makes sense that the soldiers themselves get to grill out every once in a while as well. Of course, nothing ruins a barbecue like your friendly fire taking enemy fire. But, these guys didn’t let that stop them from having a steak dinner.
We Just Forget the Meat Altogether
Not all barbecues are fails. And not all barbecues require meat, or even a barbecue. Because it’s really hard not to include these guys in every food list, here is the Epic Meal Time take on the classic, American barbecue. They fail at cooking any manly meat dishes, but they do make some delicious looking food. Maybe this is the year Memorial Day is about getting a cavity.