Today is Chuck Norris' birthday.  Can you believe he's 70?  In honor of his special day, I looked up some Chuck Norris facts.  This is  a list of my 10 favorites...

  1. Chuck Norris wasn't born.  He punched his way out.
  2. Chuck Norris rips CDs...with his hands.
  3. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word "hunting" implies the probability of failure.  Chuck Norris goes killing.
  4. When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  5. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars.  That is why there are no signs of life there.
  6. In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book Of World Records it says that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  7. When asked, "What kind of vehicle do you drive?"  Chuck Norris responds slyly, "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"
  8. Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock 2 times a year.  The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
  9. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all three?  Answer:  Chuck Norris
  10. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got it.

Check out more funny facts at The Chuck Norris Facts but be aware there is some adult language there.