Elf On A Shelf? Try Blue Cheese On A…?

It only makes sense to have a blue cheese version of “Elf on a Shelf,” especially if there’s going to be a ranch one. 

The songs always say that Santa “sees you when you’re sleeping” and “he knows when you’re awake,” but how does he really know? 

It’s the Elf on the Shelf that reports back to him. 

The Elf on the Shelf story dates back to one family’s tradition back in the 1970s. Around this time of year, an elf would appear in the family’s home to keep a closer eye on the children and make sure that everyone is behaving. 

The Elf on the Shelf has two rules: children can not touch the elf or it will lose its magic, and if the elf happens to be touched, the child must write an apology letter to Santa and sprinkle a little cinnamon beside the elf before bed. 

There have been many spin-offs from the original Elf on the Shelf, including the most recent one involving one of Buffalo’s most hated foods: ranch. 

It’s not even like ranch dressing is a Christmas staple of any kind, but lo and behold, it now exists. 

Ranch on a branch. 

It’s the Hidden Valley tale of Ranchie, a ranch dressing toy that dreams about becoming a real bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch. You can read more about that here. 

But this is a problem for true Buffalonians, as we boycott ranch on a daily basis (it’s just in our blood). Obviously, we prefer blue cheese – it is superior on all accounts. 

So…what is the blue cheese equivalent?

Plenty of people chimed in with ideas, but I think Brian had the best one. 

“How about ‘blue cheese on Santa’s knee?’” 

Genius, Brian.

If we had a Blue Cheese on Santa’s Knee, of course it would have to be Rooties, and if that jar of blue cheese had anything on his Christmas list this year, it would be chicken wings to cover with a big ole hug and make delicious for all the true Buffalonians this winter. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!